Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Doesn't this fellow look happy? He's such a sweet little garden gnome...enjoying his domain. He lives with his two little friends in my garden under the lilac bush. They had recently relocated there after a year of sitting at Jesus' feet by the rosebush. While they were happy by the rosebush, they wanted a little privacy and shade for the summer, thus their move to the lilac bush. Unfortunately, it seems "someone" didn't approve of the move.
This dear little fellow was found this morning in the grass. Gentle readers, if you can't take a little grim reality...stop reading right here. He has been murdered! Decapitated and dismembered. Truly a gruesome sight! A proper burial and memorium is planned for this afternoon on the far side of the garden. The remaining gnomes would like to go back to living in the protection of Jesus by the rosebush. There are only a few suspects.
Sadly, this shifty character is once again suspect. He had the means and the motive. He walks by the garden gnomes daily. He's taken the gnomes for "walks" against their will and left them in unfamiliar territory so they have had trouble finding their way back home. DNA testing from saliva found on the deceased gnomes face is being tested.
This fellow was seen in the area. He chatters incessantly but probably would have had to have super-human strength to detain the gnome and then carry him up in the tree and push him off the tree house to his inevitable death on the patio.
While mild-mannered looking...this skittish suspect was recently seen hob-nobbing with the gnomes. Could a disagreement have taken place and poor little garden gnome's death been the result?
The will is slated to be read this afternoon after the burial. Because his lantern was crushed in the crime, poor little garden gnome has not another worldly good to leave to his friends. Hopefully they will inherit a wariness about going off with strangers.
If you are in the mood for a more interesting murder story, although I find the death of my poor garden gnome to be quite sad, there is a series from British TV that is delightful. It's called Rosemary and Thyme and you can get the series on DVD or it's on some PBS stations. I am totally addicted to them!
Posted by firstname.lastname@example.org at 9:17 AM