I have really mixed feelings about this post because I don't want it to be misinterpreted as weird and I certainly don't want anyone who's on the fence about Christianity to be put off. Please don't use my thoughts as your barometer. But I wanted to document it so I don't forget it.
The morning the planes changed my generation's idea of safety forever, I had just dropped off my Kindergartener and 4th grader at school. My Dad called me on my cell and said, "Don't turn on the radio...something has happened and the kids don't need to hear it." Since I always obey my Daddy...I didn't turn it on or think anything of it. You see, I was on my way to First Evangelical Free Church to lead 50+ women in a Beth Moore Bible Study, "Jesus, The One and Only". That is why I will NEVER forget that it was Tuesday..because it was Bible Study day.
When I walked in the church, the t.v.'s were on in the foyer and the pastoral staff was gathered around them. In one second, my joyful, carefree morning changed. I had 50+ women congregating in the church basement, some who were just hearing the news for the first time. At that moment, before we started the welcome time...I felt absolutely stunned and brain-dead.
After a time spent processing what had happened and dismissing anyone who felt they needed to get home, we decided to carry on and start our time together with worship and prayer. Everyone stayed. I decided we would open with prayer and felt very compelled that I should lead but I didn't even know what I would pray. I stood up in front of this group of ladies, some who were sobbing...and I FELT the Spirit of the Lord fall on me. Now...................
I don't want this to sound creepy or weird. However, for one of the few times in my life...I felt absolutely loved, absolutely at peace and I had the right words. I prayed naturally and from the heart. The words were right and true. When I opened my eyes, our lead Pastor...Tom Macy...was standing beside me. I really barely knew him personally but he squeezed me and proceeded to reassure the ladies.
We went on to study "Jesus, The One and Only" and it will always be one of my favorite studies. Who else but Jesus could heal the heart of our broken nation? Who else but Jesus gave the tragedy perspective and who else but our sweet Jesus would step in and meet some Midwestern ladies in the basement of their church and make them feel as crucial to his work as the most respected evangelist? He became something more than just "God" to me that day. Although I know I received Jesus in my heart when I was a little girl in Awana's, that day I felt like I really "got it". It was all about feeling him meet us in that place. He came down and dwelt amongst us that moment and I really truly believe that.
Later, someone told me that Pastor Macy said that when he walked in the room as I was praying, he truly felt the spirit of the Lord amongst us too. I felt that was just a validating gift that God graced me with. :)
When Bible Study was over, I actually had the presence of mind and peaceful spirit to see each dear lady out the door and then RAN to my car and SPED to the school to grab my babies. I wanted them physically in my arms and with me. Then I broke down.
That day changed alot in our household. My husband works in the aircraft industry and it had a HUGE effect on business since planes were grounded. We have financial holdings in aircraft so we definitely were financially affected. That said, I hope I never, ever forget that feeling of God drawing near. Although I loved Him before...it made me adore Him.
Okay...there's nothing more I have to say.